so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
