somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
