We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
