wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
