Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
