ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
