apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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