she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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