So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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