She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
