watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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