So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just high enough for therapy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
