I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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