Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
