saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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