im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My ATM looks so different sober.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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