We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
