Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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