? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
