4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
