she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
