I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
