so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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