do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
