its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
