put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
