Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
