So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
