I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
ttyl tear gas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
