dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize