What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Enjoy the penises
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
