She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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