wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
