That's when you crack a 10am beer
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
