How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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