I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
