she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
