it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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