I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
