Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
