Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i now understand why vodka
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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