just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
