You're so nebulous sometimes
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize