who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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