I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize