Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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