I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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