Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
