The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
