i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
