Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Chalk up having sex in a car wash.

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(323): View more from California

Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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(989): View more from Michigan

Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.

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(650): View more from California

I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.

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(585): View more from New York

you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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(804): View more from Virginia

WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY

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(925): View more from California

Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.

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