He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
