Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
