Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
