hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
