So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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