As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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