home. puking in laundry basket.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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