why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
