My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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