I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize