She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
