I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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