Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize