there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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