I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
