of course. lets lasso hookers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
