Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
