she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
