im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
