i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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