the condom got lost in my hair
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
