One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
